Moving On...

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Better off?

My health is still running down hill. I now can't use my left leg. I woke up and got out of bed and hit the floor. My left leg was not working. I was fitted for a brace a couple of days ago. I was told it may not go away. I cried for hours. No walking fast, running or wearing heals or dress shoes. I am having another MRI done next week. I have a disease "other than Trygeminal Neuralgie" that they are trying to find. Until they do, I'm falling apart. Some days I can barely face another day of pain, anxiety, depression and stress. Abe has been so wonderful to me. I have been dealing with these issues for three years now. I thought being a diabetic was the worst of it. I will not say "what's next" anymore. I am not in that deep black hole I was in a few months ago. I am thankful for that. That dark place almost took my life. All I could think about was how to kill myself and make sure it was effective. All that kept coming through my mind, was Abe and my children. Would they be better off or not?

2011-04-20 @ 7:34 a.m.

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later - now

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